Friendly Fire

6/06/10 I think I need to eat healthier. I just brought home 16 pieces of fried chicken from Publix(it was a good deal). I just don’t have the ambition to cook, so the easiest cheapest thing I can pick up from the store was fried chicken. I probably eat fried chicken 2x a week. You would think I would be as big as a house by now but I’m about 25lbs lighter then I was a year ago. I guess it is because of all that healthy eating, or the lack of eating the first 6 months of my separation. I spoke to my wife xxxx(soon to be X). It was a good conversation and probably for the first time I really felt like my marriage will soon be over. We joked around and I am still even after all the turmoil about the divorce able to make her laugh( makes me feel good). Maybe we can be friends one day? I will always love her and she will always be my bride. I don’t think it is God’s will that we get a divorce but, I know that often God uses our disobediences to further his kingdom. “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose(Romans 8:28). Even in our failures God uses it for His glory. It’s funny when someone is a Christian they are able to able to call their (failures/disobedience/sin) a testimony! “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes” (Psalm 119:71). This is because they give glory to God for changing/cleansing/correcting them. Maybe a better word for testimony could be called “friendly fire”. I say this because almost always our testimony has hurt someone else. I know sin “friendly fire” has killed my marriage and I am deeply sorry for that. XXXX was a great wife who sacrificially gave of herself until there was no more to give. Her final gift to me was that she left me. Without her leaving I probably would be still stuck in my sin. I only wish there could have been another way!