When I Was A Child (1Corinthians 13:11)

4/20/10 The winter solstice and the first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. It's all due to Earth's tilt, which ensures that the shortest day of every year falls around December 21. The shortest day of the year was also my darkest! I have 1 email message that is marked unread in my Yahoo inbox on the 21 of December. The message is FROM Claude Ducloux and the SUBJECT is “Final Decree”. I have been looking at that unmarked message for about 4 months now as a constant reminder of my impending doom of a marriage. After talking to my soon to be x-wife I am finally coming to the harsh reality that I will soon no longer be married to xxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxx. She was my everything and I couldn’t imagine life without her. We have been separated for a year now and I think I have more pain and cried more that year then my whole life combined (I would including from birth).This past year I would describe it as Growing Pains. The definition of “Growing Pains” : 1. Pains in the limbs and joints of children or adolescents, often attributed to rapid growth but arising from various unrelated causes.
2. Emotional difficulties that occur during adolescence.
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1Corinthians 13:11). I feel like I have aged tremendously both physically and spiritually. Physically I just feel worn-out old! Spiritually I feel new like a child. God’s word is alive and active and I am amazed how a scripture I’ve read a bunch of times before is now a new word from HIM. I hope I never lose it!!!! Now I am filled with uncertainty and regrets. The one thing that is certain is that God said in his word “ I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5). God is going to be my comforter in times of sorrow. God is going to be my friend when I am lonely. God is going to be there no matter what happens. God please help me!!

Must stay busy! Must stay busy! Must stay busy! Because when I slow down my mind thinks of her. Must be praying! Must be praying! Must be praying! Jesus fill the void I feel without her in my life. Fill my heart! Fill my heart! Fill my heart! I need you badly the sorrow is incomprehensible. Calm my soul! Calm my soul! Calm my soul! Turn my sorrow into gladness. BE STILL MY SON. BE STILL MY SON. BE STILL MY SON. I AM HERE AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. Hold my hand Father! I AM. I feel so bad! I KNOW. What should I do? JUST BE STILL MY SON. I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. I’m scared! I KNOW.