4/14/10 I feel like I was lost while my computer was broken. I wasn’t even able to journal. I guess I could have done it on paper but it just isn’t the same. A lot has happened while I was away. Well not that much, but I realized I have a problem with authority. I just got my evaluation at work and it wasn’t good. I was told to do something when I first started working 10 months ago and I thought it was dumb so I didn’t do it. Now I am written up for it and I have to do an action plan for what I am going to do to fix it. If I don’t then I am going to be terminated. The other thing that I did was go through a police barricade(sounds worse then it is) and I got a ticket and I have to go to court on the 28th of this month. I’m starting to see this trend. I think God is showing me other things in my life I need to change. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting”(Psalms 139: 23-24). I often pray something similar to this verse and HE is faithful to answer my prayers.
Posts
Oh my. You are really getting it hard aren't you? I think perhaps you are being refined for something really wonderful? It has been my experience personally and from watching others that all that you are going through has and will lead to something wonderful that God is shaping your for. It is a time of being the clay in the Potter's hands as it were. The clay needs to stay hydrated and be pliable so the potter can shape it. We stay hydrated in the word and our relationship & the hard part is staying pliable so this molding thing can be accomplished without delay. Sometimes the molding just plain hurts doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI hope you will stay encouraged! Court bites, been there & done that ha ha. I didn't have an insurance card on me and forgot to turn it in so I had to go to court and the way the judge talked to me you would have thought I'd murdered the entire town, lol. Not fun.
Maybe you should do a Concordance study from the back of your Bible and look up all the scriptures on authority and submission. When I do that I write down a brief meaning of what each verse is saying and then when I have looked them all up, I go back and read all the notes I wrote and I always learn something from it. Just trying to be helpful....I learned that from Wendy Blight. She is an author and member of Proverbs 31 ministries. Actually, she wrote a great book called Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner. It is the best book I have ever read concerning finding the most true and joyful relationship with the Lord and the Holy Spirit. It also gives great insight into how women think....dealing with questioning "why God?", and other great stuff. At first I thought it was a girly book & it starts off with her rape story but it isn't. It was given to me by someone I barely knew because she said God told her to give it to me. It's a pretty powerful book teaching how to step into God's will and understand the trials we face and how they mold us. You may actually want to give it a read, I keep it by my bed table I have read it over and over so many times. Definitely a life changing book.
I hope you have a great day! Stay strong!!
Jenn