4/5/10 Today I went to a rejoice Ministries meeting. It’s a group of people that are praying for the restoration of their marriage. It was a very encouraging meeting. The first song I broke down and cried. I am sick of feeling this way! I don’t know what to do. It has been about a year that we have been separated. I really don’t see any hope in sight. The meeting was good because it was about not living by sight but by faith. 2cor 5:7 “We live by faith, not by sight.” She referenced Lazareth being raised from the dead and if Jesus can raise him from the dead then He can raise my marriage from the dead. Then she asked “how big is your God”? She said we need to wait on the promise that God has given us. This is where I am stumped. I know God speaks to me and he answers prayers. I am still asking for the answer to my prayer if my marriage is going to be restored. Either God has been silent or I am not willing to hear the answer. I do know is that I am growing impatient. “Those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). Lord God please give me an answer to my prayer. I claim your word in James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” I wish that this verse said God would answer me in a certain amount of time, but it doesn’t. I do know if God had answered my prayer a year ago I might be still in my sin. I have come to realize that His timing is perfect and He has a different watch then I have. I have grown so much in the Lord and I know I am not the same person I was even a month ago“ I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps”(Psalms 40:1-2) You have given me direction and firm footing where I was once sinking. Lord You “set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps” I will wait for your answer Lord. "Speak, for your servant is listening" (1 Samuel 3:10). Please answer me soon.
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It has been amazing in just reading your posts over the last couple of weeks to watch you grow in the Lord. Your posts make me smile. Not becuase you have this pain and uncerainty but because you are "getting it". You are learning to love Him and yourself first. Then you will be fully capable of loving someone else.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever watched the movie Fireproof? I highly recommend it. It is about a couple who is getting a divorce and it is extremely powerful. It's as much a bible study on marriage as it is a movie.
I am also wondering, although it is none of my business, as to whether you have shared what is going on in your life with your wife? Does she know about the changes you have been making? Us ladies like to see promises in action. Is there anything you can do to show her the change in your life? Just wondering.... I'll keep praying for God to give you direction and your wife also.
I actually divorced my first husband because of an affair he had. He tried so hard to show me he would never be unfaithful again & selfish. He made lots of changes in his life but that was something I was never willing to forgive enough to stay married to him. In our case, it just was too late. I pray that is not the case for you and your wife but if you are going to come back together there definitely needs to be some communication going on. Just keep listening for the direction of the Holy Spirit. You are going to be just fine no matter what. God will direct you to the path and person meant just for you. I promise you that.
Jenn