Lord of the Rings (Luke 15:22-24)

4/17/10 O Lord I know you have wisdom and power beyond my comprehension. You say in your word “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD”(Isaiah 55:8). I am constantly reminded of this almost daily. I spoke to my wife last night and it was a good conversation. We spoke of things that mattered and things that were on our hearts. It’s been about two months since we last talked and the conclusion was that she still wants the divorce. “ You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” Psalms 56:8). I had hurt her so much that she just can’t get past the pain and the uncertainty of me hurting her again(she didn’t say that exactly). Her tone was one of it doesn’t matter what I do now because her consistent question for me was “ why didn’t I do this before we were separated” and another question she would ask “ why didn’t you ever love me”? To these questions I have no good answer. I had a rebellious heart that was so hard that I couldn’t see past my own evil desires. “We know we have rebelled and have denied the Lord. We have turned our backs on our God. We know how unfair and oppressive we have been, carefully planning our deceitful lies” (Isaiah 59:13). She had a fair questions for me and deserves a fair answer. My only reply is “I have always loved you and I always will”. My actions didn’t show it because I was stuck in my sin. “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death(James 1:14-15). I killed our marriage and it appears that there will be no resurrection. My prayers have not been unanswered because in the process of prayer God gave me a new heart.“ I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart (Ezekiel 36:26). God didn’t give me what I wanted which was a restored marriage. He gave me “a tender, responsive heart”. God I pray in your son’s name Jesus that you would give xxxx a new heart. Lord you know exactly what she needs, and I pray that you would speak to her the way you speak to me. Soften her heart Lord.
I know this video I posted Is a little psycho! It’s how I’m feeling @ the moment.

Vomited Onto Dry Land (Jonah 2:10)

3/15/10 Deuteronomy 7:6 “Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure.”
This scripture speaks of me being valuable to God. When I think of treasure I think of the ride in Disney World. You get on a boat and go gently down the stream and the you hear the song: “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me”… They are singing of robbing and stealing and drinking while holding the gold in their hands that they plundered. It’s really not an edifing ride. Yet I am reminded of my rebellion even after I became a Christian. I was no better than a common pirate. Robbing and stealing from God in my heart. Trying to hold on to worthless, earthly, shiny idol treasures, thinking that it would make me happy. The reality was that in the kingdom of God, I was producing wood, hay, and stubble. “Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire” (1 Corinthians 3:12-15 ). A lot of the time I was serving the god of this world (1cor 4:4) and not the One true Living God, Jesus Christ. Even when my endeavors seemed to shine as gold or precious jewels, God saw my works. In Revelation, we see Jesus talking to a church that seemed to have it all together. “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16). I was going through the motions and I spoke fluent Christianeeze! I knew the right words to say, the verses in the Bible to turn to, and even the proper reaction to someone else's sin. The problem was while I was taking the speck out of other people's eyes, the plank in my own eye was knocking them over (Matthew 7:1-5). My vision was spiritually hindered and I was hardly able to walk because of the weight on the plank. Until finally the weight was too heavy to hold up and my world came crashing down. I was deceptive, self-serving, and apparently would do anything for my sin, because after many warnings, my beautiful wife, xxxx, left me. In James 1:14-15 “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” I killed my marriage! “ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction”(Galatians 6:7-8). I was finally thrown into the sea left to drown in my sin. Then “the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow” me up (Jonah 1:17). As I was in the belly of the whale, I cried out to HIM and realized my life was empty. I had been running away from God and my life was a living HELL! “Those who regard worthless idols Forsake their own Mercy. 9 But I will sacrifice to You With the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD” (Jonah 2:8-9). “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God” (Job 19: 25-26). “10 So the LORD spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land (Jonah 2:10). God has chastened me and put me on the right path. I can say honestly that I am the most right with God that I’ve ever been in my life. Psalms 119:71 “ It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.” Although I feel I am finally right with God, this doesn’t mean there isn’t consequences for my sin. I still had to deal with the fish guts and smell that was the natural out come of willful disobedience to God. I have great regrets of my failed marriage and wish I would have learned this lesson an easier way. I know whatever the LORD has in store, He keeps telling me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2Corinthians 12:9-10). PRAISE GOD!!!!!