Do Nothing Out of Selfish Ambition (Phil 2:3)

5/03/10 Well another day another trial! What’s going on here! I just don’t think I can take anymore LORD. Today my mother went into the hospital because she feeling very weak and tired. It turns out they had to give her 3 units of blood because of her low H&H which was 6.1.What it should be is about 12. I can tell there is something seriously wrong because she is very jaundice which is usually an indication that there is something wrong with her liver. I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want her to worry. I feel a little guilty because I was holding a little resentment towards her. I told her the other day that I will soon be divorce. She said to me “I thought that happened a couple of months ago.” I felt very hurt and all I could say to her was“ OH MOM”. She has been oblivious to pretty much everything that happens in my life even if I tell her. I am not sure why I am expecting different results from her?! She has always been like this. Now I’m mad at her for getting sick. I am very selfish because I am thinking about how her sickness is affecting me and how I'm feeling. Can I just get over ME and think about others more then myself? “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others(Philippians 2:3-4). Lord help me to be others centered and not ME-centered. Help me to do things in a selfless manner. “So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them(John 13:12-17). The Holy Spirit just spoke to me as He often does while I am writing out my thoughts. I don’t have to pray for God to make me less self-centered! I need to only follow the example Jesus has already given me. I need only to be obedient and do what He tells me to do. It‘s about obedience! obedience! obedience! I don’t need to feel it. I just need to do it! “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you”(Psalm 37:4-5).
If I delight in HIM, He will give me the desires He wants me to have. Amen